5 Sports Rules (for the Weekend)

It is the time of year when sports rule. Pro football and college ball under way, the baseball pennant races heating up, especially here in New York. It’s fantastic! We all know that sports can be very uplifting and create incredible inspirational stories. Yet I have learned as a sports watcher that there are certain basic rules of behavior to which I must adhere if I am to be a good husband... or even an acceptable human being.

No gnawing on the cable remote.
To look at it, you would think our golden retriever, Millie, is the culprit. In fact, I am the guilty one. At particularly tense game moments, a crucial third down in a Michigan football game or the bottom of the ninth at Yankee Stadium, for instance, I will start gnawing on the device. Julee has been known to rush into the room and snatch the remote from my jaws, a look of complete dismay on her face.  “What are you doing?” she’ll cry. “It’s only a game, for crying out loud!” And speaking of Millie...

No bellowing, pounding the couch with my fist or making any other noises that might startle or wake her.
Julee is adamant about this and I have occasionally been banished to a nearby sports bar as a result of my transgressions. And really, it makes me feel guilty when Millie casts me a baleful look and slinks off into another room after one of my outbursts. Even I wish I could keep it down. I mean I’m a grown man, supposedly.

No cursing.
This should go without saying, but it doesn’t always. I’m not proud. I can do better.

No doom and gloom moods.
Most importantly, I will restrict my lamenting of a loss to 30 minutes or less, then get on with life and the weekend. Why make everyone miserable, especially Julee? One Saturday after some team of mine had blown a game my wife sat me down and said, “Look, I love how passionate you are about things, Edward, even your games. But you sometimes let a loss ruin your day... our day.” And she’s right. It’s not all about who wins or loses. Score one for Julee. So that is my final vow...

Win or lose, I will pay attention to the things that matter in my life.
And especially to the people who make them matter, like friends, neighbors and community, and be grateful for and deeply appreciative of all the non-sports blessings that have been heaped upon me, mostly undeservedly. Oh, and golden retrievers who will play fetch with you all day long, a game at which no one loses.

So tell me, who are your favorite teams and how do they make you crazy? Post below. I’ll check back when the Yankees game is over.