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printThe Season of Forgiveness
I was just reading over some inspiring quotes for our very popular Up Side feature in Guideposts magazine when I came across one from a reader: “Forgiveness is the greatest expression of love.”
Immediately I thought of an interview I saw this morning on the Web with the mother of one of the three high school students killed this week in Chardon, Ohio, in another senseless school shooting spree.
Phyllis Ferguson was asked by a reporter what she would say to the 17-year-old boy who shot her son, Demetrius, apparently at random in the Chardon High School cafeteria. She replied, “I would tell him I forgive him.” Everything else, she said, was in God’s hands.
Awe and shame. Those were the reactions I had to Phyllis’s response to the reporter’s question. Awe that she can even utter the word forgiveness when she must be feeling the deepest pain a person can know, and shame at what I realize would be an almost impossible thing for me to feel in that situation. I would be consumed with all sorts of feelings but forgiveness would not be one of them.
Yet forgiveness may be the greatest act required of us as spiritual people. And it’s the hardest, at least for me. It’s easy to say I forgive, but to really let go, to move past the anger and hurt, sometimes seems almost impossible.
It is so easy to remain prisoners of bitterness. It is the safe route in the short run. But over time, the failure to forgive can eat our souls alive. True forgiveness takes great courage, and the greater wrong, the more courage it takes to forgive it.
Lent is the season of forgiveness, the 40 days leading up to that greatest act of forgiveness, the redemption of all mankind through the suffering and death of Christ. If there is a central call to action for Christians, it is to forgive. That is the call Phyllis Ferguson is answering so courageously. I am lost in admiration for her.
The quote I started with is true. Only love makes forgiveness possible. Only love overcomes the fear and the hurt. To forgive is to love. Are you a forgiving person? Or do you struggle with it like I do? Share below. And please say a prayer for the people of Chardon, Ohio, especially the families involved in the shooting.
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Edward Grinnan is Editor-in-Chief and Vice President of Guideposts Publications. Edward lives in New York City with two blondes—his wife, Julee, and Golden Retriever, Millie, who has been featured in his blog and popular videos. Edward loves cycling, hiking with Millie at his house in the Berkshire Hills and Wolverines that hail from Michigan.
If you need a little boost of inspiration, pick up a copy of Edward's book The Promise of Hope: How True Stories of Hope and Inspiration Saved My Life and How They Can Transform Yours.
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I have just signed up on this website and am hopeful it will help me. It has taken me 2 1/2 years just to say out loud that I am ready to let the obsession of having the man that hit and killed my father be released from me. It has taken all of my energy for too long. Constantly looking him up and keeping "tabs" on him is just plain wearing on a persons soul. It will take work, but I know I can do it. My spirit is high and I feel like a new person. The "forgiving" part, well, just not sure that will come anytime soon. Someone that is as unremorseful as he is, well, lets just say, I can't see it happening. I will continue to heal from this tragedy and am on a very white path of finally removing this person from my every thoughts.
I believe that forgiveness is a process. My mom is dying with Alzheimer's and she had been an abusive parent growing up. I forgive her on a daily basis and try to focus on who she was before the alcohol and mental illness took over. I am still working on it.
I too saw the interview on TV and it inspired me to finally forgive some people whom I felt had betrayed me and hurt my family. I have been bitter for three years and unable or unwilling to forgive. This mother was so strong in her Christian faith that I decided I would try to forgive and let God heal me. What a great witness for Christ she is.
I find this website inspiring, and I find so many similarities between the teachings of Vaishnavism (the religion that I follow) and the genuine Christine teachings of Jesus Christ. Here is a similar passage that urges all spiritual people to forgive:
It is said that the beauty of a saintly person is forgiveness. There are many instances in the spiritual history of the world in which many saintly persons, although unnecessarily harassed, did not take action, although they could have done so. King Parikshit, who was the emperor of the world, was unnecessarily cursed by a boy, but Parikshit accepted the curse and agreed to die within a week. Parikshit was the emperor and was full in power both spiritually and materially, but out of compassion and out of respect for the priestly community, he did not counteract the action of the boy but agreed to die within seven days. Because it was desired by Krishna (God) that Parikshit agree to the punishment so that the instruction of Shrimad-Bhagavatam, the most sublime of all Vedic literature, would thus be revealed to the world, Parikshit was advised not to take action.
A Vaishnava, or a devotee of God, is personally tolerant for the benefit of others. When he does not show his prowess, this does not mean that he is lacking in strength; rather, it indicates that he is tolerant for the welfare of the entire human society.
I think we all struggle with forgiveness from time to time.But when I just can't seem to get past the memories that come back to hurt me I am reminded of the savior dying on the cross for me and my sins .That seems to put things in prospective for me and if I don't choose to forgive my sins won't be forgiven either. It's my job to forgive and his to give me a clean heart and erase the hurt and heal my heart so that I can do the same for others .It's then that I feel like I've done everything that I can to be restored .There is nothing that I will ever feel or go through that Jesus hasn't already been through too and he has won the victory and we can walk victorious with him .