Family Grace
By Shawnelle Eliasen

The Love in Saying "No"

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.  (Jeremiah 29:11)

It’s time to take a walk. The three youngest boys and I have cleared the lunch mess. Shared devotion. Squeezed in a chapter from a favorite read-aloud, too. Now it’s time to hit the pavement. Even our two greyhounds know the routine. They see the boys searching the sun porch for shoes, and they know it’s time to go outside.

But Sis, our sweet greyhound girl, cannot go. She’s sprained her shoulder and the vet told us that rest is important. Sis needs to be still. Her walking papers have been revoked. She doesn’t understand. She hobbles on three legs and leans into me. Even though she’s in some pain, her tail swings in hopeful cheer.

“I’m sorry, Sis,” I say. “You cannot go.”

 She presses in. Leans harder. Pants a bit to show distress.

“No, sweet girl,” I say. “You have to stay.”

I lead her to the living room, help her settle on her cushion, then walk through the kitchen and close the heavy door.

My sons and I zip jackets and anchor Flash on his lead. It hurts to leave Sis behind, and the boys open the kitchen door and storm inside and Sis gets a bounty of ear scratches and tummy rubs and kisses on her warm, soft nose. But in the end, the door closes again. And as we walk down the hill, we see her standing in the window. Watching. Longing. Not knowing that this restraint is only meant for good.

And I think about my relationship with God. Often I run to him, leaning in, hopeful, wanting something, even a good thing, and the Lord, in his wisdom, says “no.” I’m sorry, daughter, but the timing isn’t right. I’m sorry, child, but this isn’t in the plan. I know that this is painful now, but it’s best for you in the end even though you cannot see.

The boys, Flash and I have walked along the river and now we’re climbing the hill in front of our house. I notice, as we walk past, that Sis is no longer in the window. She’s probably curled on her cushion, tight as a pretzel, deep in want for her favorite thing.

I hope that she can trust me.

It takes a lot of love to see a longing heart and speak a gentle but firm “no.”

Help me to trust you, Lord. Especially when you say “no.” Amen.

Shawnelle Eliasen and her husband Lonny have been married for twenty-five years. They have five sons and raise their bevy of boys in an old Victorian near the Illinois banks of the Mississippi River. Their sons, Logan, Grant, Samuel, Gabriel, and Isaiah, range in age from twenty-one to six with Shawnelle home teaching the youngest three.

Shawnelle has been writing for six years, contributing regularly to Guideposts magazine, Daily Guideposts devotional and other inspirational publications.  She would say that life with her men moves faithfully, on fast forward.  But it’s her heart’s desire, her passionate prayer, to see God’s goodness and glory in the fullness of her days. She longs to see Him in the unexpected moments, unexpected places, changing the ordinary to extraordinary and bringing quiet, sustaining grace.

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Your Comments (5)

It is hard to say no, sometimes it hurts us more than the one we are saying no too!

No is a hard word to say and sometimes even a harder one to hear. God often tells us the word no and we do not listen. We know in our heart that it's the wrong choice but we say yes. Today's society has become a yes culture. We need to applause ourselves when we stop and listen to what God wants for us. If the answer is no its ok. Sometimes it's best to be still just like sis the dog. Be still in him and feel empowered by saying no.
Your blogs show such a good hearted mom. Not afraid to do the right things. Bless you.

Mary, yes! I understand. No is a tough thing to speak sometimes - but maybe even harder to hear. Love what you said about being still. What a precious thing. Goes back to trust, I think. Thanks for the encouraging words. And blessings to you!

This is sure a good explanation why we must say no as it is best for our loved one. This also gives a good explanation why God has to say no also. Thank you Shawnelle for this blog today.

Thanks, Wanda. It's hard, isn't it? Saying and hearing "no". It's all about trust, I guess. I'm learning as I go! Have a blessed day.