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I just had this op-ed piece about recovering from open-heart surgery in the New York Times and one of the things that happened almost immediately was a flurry of emails from people who’d had the same operation or would soon have similar operations, most of them complete strangers, and they wanted some reassurance or advice.
I’m not sure how much advice I can give but reassurance I gladly offer, and that’s because I got so much of it. One of the most reassuring things was to be able to hear from people, “You’re in my prayers.” When you’re recovering from the trauma of any surgery, it can be hard to hold your equilibrium. For me, it was even hard to pray. But I took incredible comfort in knowing that others were praying for me.
So back at ya. In my emails to folks who are dealing with serious surgery, one thing I always say is: Prayers. It’s the least I can do when I think of all those who prayed for me.
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Rick Hamlin is the executive editor of Guideposts magazine. His regular prayer habit is a psalm a day and some meditation on his commute to work, which happens to be a New York subway train.
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Dear Rick:
I remember the first time I saw you outdoors after surgery: you looked like you had come from the other side. You had a gray-yellow pallor that I'd never really seen on someone our age. And yet there you were, out in the neighborhood, trying to jog.
Of course, I saw you strengthen over time. But that look made me understand that you've been very far away healthwise. I suspected you would be a long time returning from that far-off place.
We must allow our friends and loved ones space and time to feel wretched, exhausted, depressed, and confused, especially during crises. We need not propose answers, nor offer nostrums, nor cheerlead. Quiet, loving acceptance within deep faith, solid hope, is a great kindness.
Thank you for your hard-won suggestions. See you on the street soon.
Best,
KC Byrnes
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