We have to pray with our eyes on God, not on the difficulties.
- Oswald Chambers
I had a problem. I brought it to God. But my thoughts were focused on solving my problem.
I had a joy. I thanked God. But my focus was mainly on my happiness.
I had a sadness. I grieved aloud to God. But my heart was centered on its ache, not on him.
As relationships go, this isn’t ideal. I do most of the talking. I listen when I want answers, or comfort, or peace. I say I’m sorry because I feel bad about myself and want to feel good again. My daily devotion is far more about me than about him.
No, it's not ideal. But beating myself up over it would make the focus all about me, too. So instead I’m going to pick up my faults and ego and self-centeredness and quietly place them, one by one, at the foot of the cross. And then I’m going to gaze upward and look at Christ, who hangs there. I’m going to try very, very hard to think only of him. And to listen. And to love him more than I love myself.
Julia Attaway is a freelance writer, homeschooler and mother of five. She is the editor of Daily Guideposts: Your First Year of Motherhood, a book of devotions for first-time moms. She lives in New York.