Emerging into God's Light

After a near-fatal medical emergency left her facing a lengthy and difficult recovery, she wondered where He had been during her trials.

By Lindsey O'Connor, Castle Rock, Colorado

As appeared in

My mistake wasn’t asking God to show himself in the midst of chaos. That’s natural when you’re in distress. My mistake was assuming that God is present only when we feel him near. His presence is deeper than that. He enters the darkness with us. He stays by our side.

And he’s there when we emerge from that darkness, even if we don’t see him right away. I saw him now, clear and bright as the sun on the hills. As the light in Caroline’s eyes when she saw my face. I picked up my pen and opened my notebook again. I couldn’t wait to tell the story.


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Book Cover -- The Long AwakeningLindsey O'Connor is the author of The Long Awakening: A Memoir (2013) from Revell Books.

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Your Comments (2)

Lindsey, Your story has encouraged me to continue writing my book, "One Step at A Time: Why I Believe Everything Happens For a Reason". It is a book about my recovery from alcoholism and a cerebral hemorrhage. The only word that I could say was "Yes". I lost complete use of my right side and had to learn to swallow physically and learn to swallow my pride. I was in the Neuro-Intensive Care unit to which I was careflighted after discovering that I was experiencing a cerebral hemorrhage at our small local hospital. I spent about a week there - of which I remember very little. I spent the next 4 weeks in a rehab hospital, where I learned to read, write, swallow without choking, walk, talk (other words than "yes"), brush my teeth. When I came home from the rehab hospital, I could not be alone. At the time, my husband was not working, so he was able to provide care for me. I was surrounded by love and God never left my side. My belief in God's love continues to this day. I am now able to do the same things I used to do (pre-stroke), but I tire very easily and words do not come to me as fast as they used to. I now encourage others in their times of trouble and try to do the best that I can at any task that I attempt. My stroke was 7 years ago and I was an RN working as a team leader for Hospice. I was used to helping others and it was very difficult for me to be on the receiving end. God bless you and all of your family.

Your article meant a great deal to me. It is as I write a great inspiration for me in matters I am presently dealing with in my life. Your article recalls to me something I heard on a TV program at the time of the 50th anniversary of the end of World War II. A Jewish woman asked a rabbi, "Where was God at Auschwitz?" The rabbi replied, "God was at Auschwitz. The question is where was man?" God bless you.