How to Make and Keep Friends
Three practical tips from the Bible to help you love and appreciate others.
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printFriendships are important. Throughout the Bible we see this great truth brought to life. David and Jonathan were best friends, a relationship that was forged during a dangerous time in David’s life. “Jonathan said to David, ‘Go in peace, for we have sworn friendship with each other in the name of the Lord’” (1 Samuel 20:42). God himself was called a friend of Abraham (Isaiah 41:8). And Exodus 33:11 tells us, “The Lord would speak to Moses face to face, as one speaks to a friend.” Jesus told his followers (that’s us, too!): “You are my friends if you do what I command” (John 15:14).
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But the pace of modern life sometimes makes it hard to find time for these important relationships. How can you make and keep friends?
1. Examine the way people react to you.
Do strangers catch your eye and smile at you? Are people genuinely happy to see you? If you can answer yes to these two questions, it’s because you display that special glow that the Lord gives to people who sincerely love and appreciate others. If you don’t have this, you can get it!
2. Make the first move.
Go out of your way to show kindness. “A man who has friends must himself be friendly” (Proverbs 18:24). Get to know people whom you may take for granted. Greet the clerk in the post office with a smile and exchange pleasantries with the receptionist at your doctor’s office. It only takes a moment to pay a compliment or share an upbeat observation. If you radiate an easygoing good humor, people will want to be around you.
3. Show that you care.
Pay attention in your conversations with people. Genuinely listen. Note their interests and then when you run across a relevant magazine or Internet article, or an announcement of a local event that you think a particular person will enjoy, send it to him or her. And don’t let friendships wither away because of distance or time. That’s what email and Skype are for!
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Your Comments (6)
Hello,
I have three children, ll grown and one gone to Heaven just 7 years today. He, my blessed Nicky had severe cerebral palsy and mild autism. My oldest child, Matthew, nw 33 years old, has autism and mild cerebral palsy, though he doesn't like any reference to the latter. I have a blessed daughter i between who has some medical difficulties. WHy all three of my children have had difficulties is a mystery but the boys especially have had great difficulty making friends, Nicky because he had no speech and used a computerized communication device, and Matthew because of his more severe autism. We are still waiting for the Good Lord to provide Matthew with some friends his age so if you all would pray for him as well, as well as my daughter, I would greatly appreciate it - spoken as a true blue mom at heart. Praise God for the stories of others with disabilities who have adults in the community take them under their wing and show them true friendship, for these adult children with disabilities are the kindest, nicest of individuals and truly reflect God's Love.
Praise be to God!!
Janette S.
Dear friend,
I am moved by your prayer request for your sons. I do not usually post comments; but, just this morning I was reading in Jeremiah. The Bible tells us that God knew us while we were yet still in our mother's womb. He knows your two boys, what they and you have been through - and chose you to be the mother of them. You must have been the right cantidate in His eyes. His judgement is perfect. Please remember that suffering brings us closer to God. Reliance among families brings families closer as well. I can imagine that you are very close with your sons.
I thank God for the struggles He chooses to allow me to go through even though I don't feel like it sometimes. For, God knows my heart and my weaknesses. These things keep my dependance, eyes, and heart upon Him.
May God bless you and your sons. I will pray for them to aquire the friends they need.
Your friend in Christ
Please pray for our two sons with Asperger's Disorder who at 22 & 24 have been unable to make friends, even with help of professionals for more than 10 years. Churches in Houston Texas don't seem to have any young singles groups & those that do, won't take the extra effort required to assist those with disabilities. When will Christians reach out & behave like Christians instead of judging everyone so harshly?
Please also pray for our oldest son who has Downs Syndrome.
We praise God for getting us this far. We thank him in advance for helping our youngest two to fully develop their independent skills and find their niches and careers.
In Christ's Holy Name we pray. Amen.
Dear KM
It is not easy for me to put into words my prayers for you and your sons. I was really moved.
I pray that your sons will find and be found by people of kindness---I know they are among us. My friend Shankur befriended Michael-who has Downs- nearly 30 years ago (they are both in their 50's now!)Shankur has taken Michael to so many Drs appts, so many trips to the grocery store, so many outings. In turn, Michael has given so many laughs, so much companionship, so many adventures(!)---they are friends.
I have two sons--really blessed with both 'book smarts" and 'people skills'. But just like you, I pray for protection for them from the cruelty and the harsh judgement of the world. And like you, I pray that each finds their niches and develops their skills. It's part of being a mother I guess. I can't imagine how heavily it must weigh on you sometimes. I can tell you love them so much.
So, I pray that men like my sons will use their blessings wisely and show compassion and respect to men like your sons. It can take strength to befriend those who are different.
I pray your sons meet someone like Shankur, who will be a true friend - and a true follower of Christ. In my heart, I know that person is already looking for a friend - a friend who can be found among your boys. I pray they meet...and soon!
And I pray for peace for you: Let Jesus carry your enormous burden. "Fear not, for I am with you".
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart"
We are separated by 1000's of miles but I will carry your 3 sons in my heart.
Scout86
I just want to say to ALL the people who always pray for us and giv us hope when we are down and out THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart, i really appreciate that.May the aAlmighty bless you an abanance in everythining ou want, may HE kepp on blessing you more, i always ask for a finacial prayer, it is stil NOT better but now i want to thank you. GOD BLESS YOU MORE.