Either I hold on to worry, or I open my hands, let it go, and reach for the Lord.
God replied to Moses, “I Am Who I Am. Say this to the people of Israel: I Am has sent me to you.” Exodus 3:14
Worry had returned.
I sat on the porch, while my family slept, and I wondered why nighttime gave it strength.
Earlier in the evening, I'd spent a few hours talking with friends and finding a bit of comfort knowing that worry is a foe most of us battle. It runs through our humanness as a common thread.
That night, on the porch, it was gripping.
I rocked back and forth on our old rocker, the gentle creak breaking the silence of the night, the way that worry had broken into my mind.
So, I sat still, perfectly still. And one thought became powerful and clear:
When worry is gripping, I need to reach for something else.
When I think about it, this is a critical place. This is where faith lives and breathes. This is the tender spot where I release the what-ifs and troubling possibilities. I’m at a place of choosing. Either I hold worry or I open my hands, let it go, and reach for the Lord.
I wanted to reach.
I AM is one of my favorite names of God. When the Lord revealed Himself to Moses at the burning bush and commissioned him to stand face-to-face with Pharaoh and lead Israel out of Egypt, Moses was afraid. Anxious. He questioned God. Then he asked, “What if they ask for your name? What do I tell them?”
God’s reply was powerful: I AM WHO I AM.
And He is unchanging. Moses’ God is my God too. He’s the Lord of glory. Strength. Power. Faithfulness. He’s our Provider and Protector.
That same God is present in my circumstances.
Thank you, Lord.
I sat the darkness that evening and spoke His name aloud.
Because of I AM, I can give up control.
Because of I AM, I can trust.
Because of I AM, I can hope.
I looked again at the vast, dark sky, the sky that stretched past where I could see. Suddenly, sitting there, I felt small. Not insignificant and small, but small when compared to His endless power, love and grace. My worry felt smaller too; it was too much for me to hold.
I belong to the great I AM WHO I AM, and when I reach for Him, I can let go.