5 Ways to Love Your Enemy…Through Prayer

For people who follow Jesus, it is not an option to love and pray for our enemies, points out Guideposts blogger Bob Hostetler. He commanded us to do so. Here are 5 ways to love your enemy.

5 ways to love your enemy through prayer.

Has there ever been a time when people seemed more divided than now?

If you watch or read the news, listen to the radio, frequent social media, or are in any way aware of things going on around you, you have probably noticed that people fight, argue, disagree, get offended and resentful, and bitter and angry a lot these days.

Whether the issue is abortion or gun control or marriage or education policy or economics or a hundred other topics, we seem to have more “enemies” and “opponents” than ever, regardless of our beliefs and opinions on those issues.

But Jesus didn’t tell us to arm ourselves against our enemies. He didn’t say to shout down or out-argue them. He told us to love them (Matthew 5:44). And He didn’t just say it was a good idea; He commanded it. It was central to His teachings.

But how? How are we supposed to love our enemies? Actually, He answered that question—at least in part—before we even had a chance to ask:

“I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven.” (Matthew 5:44-45, NIV)

He did not command us to conjure up warm feelings for our enemies and persecutors, but specifically to pray for them. Doing so, He said, cultivates in us a likeness to our Father in heaven who is kind and giving toward everyone, not only to His friends (see Matthew 5:46).

So how do we pray for our enemies? I suggest five ways:

1)  Thank God for them.
Paul the great church planter of the first century once wrote, “We always thank God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, when we pray for you” (Colossians 1:3, NIV). So begin your prayers for your enemies (or people who disagree with you or frustrate you) with thanks—for what God may be trying to teach you through them, for how He is refining you because of them, etc. As you start to do this, you will find it easier and easier as you go along.

2)  Ask to understand them better.
The psalmist prayed, “Give me understanding that I may live” (Psalm 119:144, NIV). Pray to understand your enemies’ problems, perspectives, challenges, hurts and fears. Ask God to help you empathize and understand them—what makes them tick and why they seem to tick you off so often or so easily.

3)  Ask for God’s grace and love to break through to them.
“When the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared,” Paul wrote, “He saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy” (Titus 3:4-5, NIV). Ask God to give them the mercy and grace He showed you. Ask Him to break down barriers and break through to their hearts.

4)  Pray for their lives to exhibit the fruits of the Spirit.
The Bible says, “The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control” (Galatians 5:22-23, NIV). You can’t go wrong by praying for such qualities to be planted and nurtured in the lives of others.

5)  Pray for the means and opportunity to bless them.
The Bible says, “‘If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink….’ Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good” (Romans 12:20-21, NIV). So pray for God to show you how and when and where to do that with your enemies. What He commands He will also help you to do.

For people who follow Jesus, it is not an option to love and pray for our enemies. It is a reliable way to reflect the image of our loving God whose Word tells us, “Bless those who persecute you. Don’t curse them; pray that God will bless them” (Romans 12:14, NLT).

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