A disconsolate daughter finds solace in writing about her late mother.
Posted in , Aug 24, 2017
Today’s guest blog post comes from my Guideposts colleague Michelene Murphy-Staib.
Recently, Michelene’s mother passed away at the age of 96 after complications from dementia. Michelene and her mother were the best of friends. Even though Michelene knew that her mom was reunited in heaven with her father, she was inconsolable.
And then, in the midst of her pain, Michelene found a powerful source of comfort. Through writing.
Here’s Michelene’s story…
It was one of my first few days back at work after my mom died and I was trying to make sense of my grief. Everyone was telling me that they were praying for me and my family, but I really didn't think anyone could truly know how I was feeling. I would never see my mom again. No more visits to her in the nursing home. No small smiles from Mama to greet me when I entered her room. No beautiful brown eyes looking back at me, trying to tell me that she knew the time was coming.
I didn’t want to talk about my grief. Instead, I took to my computer. When I did, the words just flowed out. In fact, as I typed, the pain felt like it was softening somehow. The tears, of course, still dripped from my eyes. But I felt, in a really strange way, that my mom and even my dad were with me. By my side. Like they were helping me. Sending their strength so I could get through the next few days.
With their divine assistance, this is what I wrote:
Why do we all have to go through it? Why does someone have to die?
The emotions, the loss, the tears and the emptiness in our hearts.
Where can we turn? Who will listen? How to bear it?
I pray to the Lord for His help to go through each day now without you.
I cry but it doesn’t help. It won’t bring you back to me.
I find strength remembering you and your battles with cancer, surgeries and dementia
And how you fought them all.
But at the end, the medication helped, the pain subsided. It let you rest and be still.
There were no words from you, but only from me.
I told you how much I loved you and how much I would miss you. I thanked you for everything you gave me.
I know you are in Heaven now, Mama, and you are with Daddy forever.
I will miss you so much.
But my memories and my love for you will never die.
You are in my heart forever.
What about you? Has writing ever helped you find healing during one of life’s storms? Share your story below.