Teens Divided by Divorce

Showing forgiveness will help your teen witness love and healing

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Posted in , Nov 19, 2014

Help your teen weather your divorce. Photo from 123RF(r).

We live in a broken world. Broken friendships, broken relationships, broken marriages all lead to one place–a broken heart.

You already know that researchers estimate that 40%-50% of all first time marriages end in divorce, and the trend continues to rise. It happens in Christian marriages, too.

Common as it is, the results divorce has on families and one’s life can still be devastating. Feelings may include confusion, worry, sadness, anger or wanting to blame the departed spouse. But do you know the stress doubles for teens?

Divorce is difficult for everyone who goes through it. Are you dealing with the changes of a divorce? Is your teen struggling with how to make the adjustments, too?

Here are a few things to keep in mind.

  • Remember, the divorce is between you and your spouse. Not your teen. Try to keep your daughter or granddaughter from being caught in the middle. Prevent using her as your “go between” messenger with your ex-spouse.
     
  • Try to stay upbeat. I know it’s difficult sometimes to concentrate on the positive aspects of your life when going through a divorce, but if you’re positive and continue to enjoy life, she will stay positive and continue to enjoy life.
     
  • Avoid criticism about the other spouse, especially in front of your teen. It only adds pressure on your daughter or granddaughter to take sides, which can lead to resentment.
     
  • Encourage your daughter or granddaughter to maintain a normal routine, such as going to sports or social events. This gives her stability. Try not to let your changes consume you so much that you are unable to see what is going on in your daughter’s life.
     
  • Forgive the other person and talk to your daughter about forgiveness. Let her know that we all make mistakes, and we all have regrets. Jesus knows all of our trials, and He is in control even in the midst of our chaos.

Forgiving someone who has hurt us, such as a spouse or a parent, may take time, so be patient. Little by little, you can let go of the hurt and anger that you feel.

By showing your daughter or granddaughter your forgiveness toward the one who hurt you, she will witness the love and healing that can result out of forgiving others.

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