Teens, Get a Grip on Aggression

Are you a teen girl behaving badly? Then what's really going on in your life?

Posted in , Apr 6, 2015

An angry teen girl. Photo: 123RF(r).

I know I’ve touched on the topic of teen girls and violence before, but today's blog is written especially for your teen daughter who is dealing with anger and has a fighting reputation:

What’s happened to make fighting so popular? More girls, even adult women, are fighting it out instead of working it out. Not only are they becoming more violent, they’re videotaping the fights for everyone–including the whole world–to see online.

Girls get paid for fighting in boxing rings. Viewers enjoy catfights as a source of entertainment. But what is really going on in the life of a girl behaving badly? What makes you want to fight physically? Here are some unresolved emotional issues that might be cropping up:

  • A desire to be seen as strong or tough
  • Self-hatred
  • Anger or rage
  • Jealousy
  • Pride
  • Need for any kind of attention–positive or negative
  • Family problems

You'll need to do some inner work to get to the root of anger, and you may not like what you find. You’ll uncover hidden places of pain but working your way to healing is worth it. You’ll be less tempted to harm another girl.

Here are a few suggestions:

1)  Consider finding a mentor or parent to come alongside you as you seek the reasons for your anger or aggression. People who love you will help keep your actions in check and keep you accountable.

2)  Make sure to get proper sleep, nutrition and exercise to reduce stress. These are three important components that help control moods and emotions. If you get angry, take your frustrations to the gym.

3)  Focus on relaxation techniques such as deep breathing, meditating on a Bible verse or reading a good book. Here's a helpful link on stress reduction.

4)  If you can’t figure out what is causing your aggression, ask your parents to seek professional help for you. There is no shame in seeking out wise and empathic counseling.

Don’t let anger and violence control who you are or where you are going. God has great plans for your life. 

Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. (James 1:19-20, ESV)

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