Turning Hurt into Love

Instead of lashing out when someone close to you is treated unfairly, seek out a deeper, wider justice.

Posted in , Mar 8, 2018

Turning hurt into love

I think of myself as fairly level headed. I don’t take offense easily, and I’m quick to forgive. However, when someone messes with my family, that description no longer applies. Things that would be quickly forgiven if aimed at me become huge stumbling blocks when aimed at those I love. And although my first reaction might be one of defense and retribution, I can’t remember a single time when my interference helped. The only way I’ve found to make a difference is by turning to God.

Not only do I cry out and ask God to fight for my loved ones, but I also begin talking to Him about the person who instigated the hurt. I learned to do this the hard way. Because I tend to want justice—my version of justice—when a family member has been hurt. 

I had weight-loss surgery recently and I developed a stubborn infection that turned a one-day hospital visit into a two-week stay. My family and friends rallied around me. Still, I was frightened. I asked everyone I knew to pray for me to heal, as Rick's post recommended. I posted my request on social media, talked to the hospital chaplain and my condition improved. When my husband had the same kind of surgery, I knew exactly how to pray for him, thanks to “6 Ways to Pray for the Sick”.               Guideposts Magazine Reader

I experienced this after one particularly ugly discussion with a friend who insisted that my son was a horrible person for signing up to serve in the military. I walked away from the conversation and took some time outside, begging God to make her see reason and feel the hurt that she had caused me and my son.

But God’s justice is deeper and wider than that. 

He loves the person behaving badly just as much as He loves me. That day He reminded me that although it goes against every ounce of how I’m feeling, going to God on their behalf makes a difference in how I feel about the situation. Somehow, it takes the hurt out of my heart and puts it at the foot of the cross, the place where I find perspective. 

This doesn’t mean we must reenter a relationship with the attacker, but it gives us the ability to move on and let God do the fighting for us—and for those we love.

God the Father knows the hurt we’re feeling on our child’s behalf. He felt it when the world rejected His son, but only He knows how to turn that hurt into love. 

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