Funny

Funny quotes and sayings can brighten your whole day. Funny quotes not only make you laugh, they remind you to look on the lighter side of life. Turn to inspiring funny quotes anytime you need to turn your attitude around.

If your ship doesn't come in, swim out to it!

Jonathan Winters

Spring is God's way of saying, 'One more time!'

Robert Orben

Gossip is like a nasty virus. If you learn to cover your mouth you won't spread the germs.

submitted by Audrey Harvey of Antioch, Tennessee

I am in sales, not management.

Rev. Richard Knight, North Andover, Massachusetts, when asked if

God sprinkles us with Miracle-Gro.

Rev. Milton Newton

A vacation is having nothing to do, and all day to do it in.

Robert Orben

A lot of kneeling will keep you in good standing.

Sign in front of Macedonia Baptist Church, East Jackson, Tenness

We did it because we didn’t have the sense to know it couldn’t be done.

Sid Caesar

What really scares me most, more than nukes or cancer, is a man or woman without a sense of humor.

Jonathan Winters

Heavenly forecast: Reign Forever

Church sign in Johnson City, Texas

Even Jesus had a fish story.

Sign in front of a church in Cleveland, Oklahoma

If you are able to laugh, you are the owner of the world.

Roberto Benigni