Funny

Funny quotes and sayings can brighten your whole day. Funny quotes not only make you laugh, they remind you to look on the lighter side of life. Turn to inspiring funny quotes anytime you need to turn your attitude around.

Let’s meet at my house Sunday before the game.—God

Billboard on an Arizona highway

God has unlimited anytime minutes.

Church sign in Smithfield, Virginia

Fastest way to heaven: knee mail.

Sign on a church in Buford, Georgia

Part of managing to grow old gracefully is that you just take the next step and hope you don’t fall when you take it.

Walter Cronkite

Under the same management for 2,000 years.

Written on a sign outside a church in Eden, North Carolina

God is always a wireless provider.

Sign outside church in Hutchinson, Kansas

This church is a gift from God—Assembly required.

Sign on a church in Streetboro, Ohio

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that amateurs built the Ark. Professionals built the Titanic.

Humor columnist Dave Barry

Pessimists need a kick in the can’ts.

Mary Katherine and David Compton

You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?

Steven Wright

Before going on vacation, donate blood. Mosquitoes don’t give coffee and donuts. We do.

Sign on American Red Cross building, Minneapolis

That ‘love thy neighbor’ thing? I meant it. —God.

Billboard in Minneapolis, Minnesota