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Ben Utecht on ‘You Will Always Be My Girls’

Watch former NFL player Ben Utecht, who lives with memory loss from concussions, explain the inspiration behind his song and viral video. Read more about Ben in his Guideposts magazine cover story and in his new book, “Counting the Days While My Mind Slips Away.”

Hi, “Guideposts.” I’m Ben Utecht, former NFL player and Super Bowl champion with the Indianapolis Colts, husband to an amazing wife Karyn, and four beautiful daughters Elleora, [INAUDIBLE], Amy, and Haven. In 2009, I took my fifth documented concussion, and that really led to a very difficult decision in my life which was to walk away from the game that I loved to play. And that was due to some of the cognitive problems that I was facing with memory loss. 

I don’t know what would have happened to me emotionally if I didn’t have music, because music provided purpose. I was challenged to write a song that I had never had the courage really to go through. And that was really to kind of go through this therapy of dealing with what the future could hold. And so I sat there on a plane, 30,000 feet above the ground and began to write this letter to my wife and girls. 

And I remember just being so embarrassed because I’m this big masculine football player and I’m beginning to weep like a little boy on that plane, and I pulled my hat down. But I just poured myself out into this letter. The intention was that with that we would pull out of that a song that could really be a legacy for my wife and daughters. And also, I think, provide a platform of hope for people who are going through difficult times on their own. 

I don’t take my moments, I don’t take those memory moments with my family for granted anymore. Because I don’t know how long they’re going to be there. Every moment is important. 

You know without my relationship with the Lord, I don’t know where I would be. That really helped me through this process to stay focused and really begin to understand that there’s so much more to my life than football. 

[MUSIC – BEN UTECHT, “YOU WILL ALWAYS BE MY GIRLS”] 

I’m in here counting the days, while my mind is slipping away. I’ll hold on as long as I can to you. I may not remember your name, or the smell of a cool summer rain. Everything and nothing has changed, nothing has changed. And I will remember your smile and your laughter long ever after this moment is gone. You’ll always be my girls. You’re the beauty of my world. And no matter how tomorrow unfurls, you will always be my girls. 

I can still feel you here. And this pain is beyond all tears. When love does what it does, it stays. Yes, it stays. And I will remember your smile and your laughter long after this moment is gone. You will always be my girls. You’re the beauty of my world. And no matter how tomorrow unfurls, you will always be my girls. 

Seasons turn and turn again. Seasons turn. [INAUDIBLE] Remember when. The love in your hearts made this man complete. My Cinderella, you danced on my feet. You will always be my girls, you’re the beauty in my world. You’re the only thing that matters, that matters to me. You will always be the ones, I could run to. And no matter how tomorrow unfurls, till the moment I am done with this world, my [INAUDIBLE] babies in curls. You will always be my girls.


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