Stand by Your Man

I kept praying for God to change him; turns out, I was part of the problem.

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Inspirational Stories blogger Michelle Medlock Adams with her husband

Don’t depend on things like fancy hairdos or gold jewelry or expensive clothes to make you look beautiful. Be beautiful in your heart by being gentle and quiet. This kind of beauty will last, and God considers it very special. (First Peter 3:3-4)

OK, ladies, this blog is for you–not that my male readers won’t enjoy reading it. They will probably make sure their significant others read it, as well.

But I felt inspired to write about this for all of my sisters out there who might have less than the “happily ever after” we were promised in those fairytales we grew up reading. I’m not saying it’s butterflies, sunshine and bluebirds sitting on my shoulders every day of my marriage, but it is pretty wonderful.

It wasn’t always so wonderful, however. We’ve had our “seasons of sticking it out” simply because we promised we would on our wedding day almost 23 years ago. You know when it became more wonderful? When I finally learned what I am about to share with you. It completely transformed our home. I kept praying for God to change him; turns out, I was the biggest part of the problem.

Remember that old country song “Stand by Your Man”? (You’re singing along right now, aren’t you?) There’s a lot of truth in that little melody. Whether you’re engaged, married or would like to someday have a special man in your life, this nugget of truth is for you. If you’ll stand by your man and let him know that you are in his corner, adoring him, he will think you are the most beautiful woman in the world and love you like crazy. Trust me!

Statistician and author Shaunti Feldhahn polled 1,000 men for her book For Women Only: What You Need to Know About the Inner Lives of Men so that we could better understand the men God has given us to love. When polled concerning their favorite movie scene of all time, the men overwhelmingly chose a scene from a baseball movie. You might be thinking that most men would’ve chosen a shoot ’em up clip from some action-adventure movie. Not so. The most popular scene–the scene that evoked the greatest emotion from these 1,000 men–came from The Natural. Remember that one, starring Robert Redford?

The scene goes something like this: Robert Redford is pitching, and the crowd is booing him and berating him. Redford steps off the mound and looks into the hostile crowd until his eyes lock on a woman, his gal, his love. She is quietly standing in support of him, smiling with her eyes. In the midst of the chaos and screaming, he finds peace and strength and confidence simply by knowing she is in his corner, loving him and being proud of him.

That’s what our men want. They want to know that we love them and support them, no matter what. They want to know that we still think they’ve “got it going on.” They want to know that we’re proud of them. You say, “But, Michelle, I do think that. My husband knows I love him.” Maybe he does, but maybe he needs to hear it more often. Or maybe he needs to hear less criticism from you. Or maybe he just needs to know that you support him and appreciate all that he does for you and the family.

See, if we honor and adore the men God has placed in our lives, they’ll love us like we need and desire to be loved. It doesn’t matter if we don’t have abs and buns of steel; they’ll only see the beauty within us. Someone much smarter than me once said, “People don’t remember what you said; rather, they remember how you made them feel.” Meditate on that a while. Are your words and actions making the man in your life feel loved, adored, appreciated, valued and happy? If not, decide today to start showing support and adoration to your man, and soon you’ll become absolutely irresistible to him. Your happily ever after awaits...

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